Copyright infringement not intended, SNL.
Read more: Weekend UpdateFaithful readers, it’s no surprise that I’ve been incredibly busy. Just scroll through my posting history on my blog. Return to Active Duty… well. I’m on active duty again. What did I expect?
Time management has always been important in my life. High school extracurriculars, college final exam prep, military punctuality (especially as an aviator). That’s not to say I’ve always been good at it – or am currently. One of my biggest new-mom challenges was how to manage my time with a newborn. It came down to priorities. What was actually essential to do, not just my established routine pre-kids. I had to learn to drop some things (no planting spring bulbs), de-emphasize others (washing the sheets every other week), and concentrate on what mattered most in the moment (shushing a shrieking baby back to bed).
Although the kids are now 7 and (nearly) 5, I find I’m still trying to manage my time appropriately. I know it’s one of those things that will never go away; it will simply change based on the life phase. I like to think I’m in Phase Two of Kids: The Not-So-Littles Anymore. It’s exciting watching them grow and learn, especially in reading and writing, and it’s also heartbreaking as I see them start to lose their innocence (don’t ask me about the kid who stole R’s candy at school that she won from her principal). I know this is life. But trying to make time for the actual important things in life (like inventing the newest superhero: Captain Cut [spoiler alert, he cuts things]) and not what we’re simply supposed to find important (has your child started Mandarin/coding/pony polo yet?), is my goal. And, oh yeah, there’s also the love of my life that I married and want to continue to make time for, sans kids. There’s also that important time management piece.
What I’m saying is this: I’m prioritizing time with my family right now over, yes, even my professed love of writing. And I do miss writing. I think about it often. I do a bit of admin writing at work. I’m still editing my memoir and, my dear and lovely publishing team, I promise I will finish and get this thing turned in turned in. But it’s obvious to me that returning to the Marines full time means I have even less time to spend on family and connection. I get a bit in the morning and a bit at night, depending on my schedule, and mostly the weekends, which is nice if a bit chaotic. The summer is coming soon and we have to think about how to peel that onion (how many summer camps can we sign the kids up for?!) and, yes, sometimes I get overwhelmed and want no one around, but I’m trying to prioritize what’s important to me. Because what we spend our time doing translates into what our priorities are, whatever we actually say out loud. It’s why when my phone reminds me that I spend approximately 2 hours and 18 minutes a day on my phone, I cringe. It may not be a lot compared to others, but for me, that’s about two hours too much.
Footnote: I’m also trying to prioritize sleep. I’ve always been a light sleeper and since having kids, it’s even worse. No one wants to see me on a bad night of sleep. Mama bear turned zombie bear. It didn’t affect me much when I was younger, but I was… younger. My husband has a long-running joke with me where I tell him that I actually am a morning person and he just keeps saying, “When?” The answer lies somewhere in the future when the kids don’t wake up randomly in the night because, “My chair looks like a crocodile”/“I need to poop”/“Mommy, I just love you so much,” although the latter is a nice phase to be in right now.
Why I’m prioritizing family (and sleep) is that life has been chaotic. The stress is real as I’m up for orders this summer, my husband is slogging through the green card process, and we still have relatively young kids to look after while we’re both working full time. And don’t even get me started on, shall we say, the geopolitical front. I remain cautiously optomistic on all issues. I know things will work out in the end, but man, does it feel like a grind some days, especially when I’m solo parenting again.
Sometimes, the only thing that keeps me going is good ol’ Dory.
Just keep swimming, just keep swimming, swimming, swimming…
Captain Leatherneck 