It’s for me.
I don’t want to be a professional blogger. I don’t obsessively check my stats every day. I am not sponsored. I don’t write “content,” I write stories and things I find funny, interesting, relevant, and important. I don’t want to be in your social media face. I don’t care who reads my stuff and who doesn’t. I swear. I make bad puns. I triple-check my grammar. I wait 24 hours from writing to posting because I believe in the power of letting writing rest and reviewing it one last time with fresh eyes.
I started this blog for a few reasons, the major one being I wanted to create my writer persona online. I needed a separation between my Marine pilot self and this new author self I didn’t feel I inhabited yet. I still don’t, not really. Truth be told, there is no way for me to separate those two selves; they’re both me. Be that as it may, I wanted to make a concerted effort to have a place where I could concentrate on writing. Going public was a bit scary – everything I had been taught in the military made me uncomfortable with sharing anything beyond name, rank, SSN, and date of birth (Geneva Convention requirements of a POW) – but I knew I needed to invest in my “new” identity. Looking back, it wasn’t that big of a change. I had already started a LiveJournal account in college and pretty much “blogged” in my online journal on a nearly daily basis. Never mind it was only accessible to a few select friends. I ranted about shitty days, posted silly get-to-know-me quizzes that were all the rage back in 2004, and gushed about academic accomplishments and ROTC experiences. I’ve had that account for fourteen years now.
I am worried my writing will take me into the “mommy blog” sphere. I worry that my past pigeonholes me into a flat character. I don’t want to be portrayed by a label. Rather, I want everyone who takes the time to read this blog (thank you) to realize I am (and all of us are) complex. I am many labels simultaneously: I am a sister, a pilot, a wife, a Marine, a writer, a cousin, an agnostic, an Aquarius, a veteran, a twin, a woman, an aunt, an animal lover, an Independent, a niece, a sexual assault survivor, an introvert, a mentor, a daughter, a goofball, an athlete, a music lover, an illustrator, an extrovert, a friend, and a soon-to-be mother. I have always observed the world around me and I process and interpret that world through writing, photography, and drawing. I need to get back in touch with my artistic side.
What I’m trying to say here is that this blog is mine. Yes, it would be nice to make money from it. Yes, it would be nice to have more people read what I have to say. Yes, it would be nice to get a blook (blog-to-book) deal from my writing, but it’s not about that. I refuse to play the game, sell out, or run the rat race. That’s not my motivation here. There’s a reason why I don’t post every day, why I don’t call my posts “content.” Content is for robots. Content is for the social media complex that churns out quantity over quality. Content is about clicks and likes, not about posting lengthy journalistic pieces dealing with real problems and issues. To be fair, my posts are far shorter than I’d like to write. But technology means our attention spans have shrunk. Unless I can convince you to spend ten minutes reading a gripping post I’ve created through to the end of five thousand words a-la The New Yorker style, I’m likely going to lose what little audience I have, and quickly. I understand this. But I will also not lose myself in the process of writing “what the internet wants.” Fuck the internet.
I’m here to write for myself, and I value quality, correct grammar, and non-click-bait posts. I hope you do, too. Thanks for listening.